Duo's Truoble With Trees
by Orange Smoke
Summary: 2xH, 1xR, 5xS, AU, Ch3, //Heero's Trouble With Religon//
1. Duo's Trouble With Trees

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, though I wish with all my heart that I did. I am making no money off this.

  
  


AN: Hi! This is my first story ever!!!!!!!!!! So, if you like it, review it! If anyone likes it I will write more chapters about the other's and maybe even how Lady Une became a witch:) Please, remember it is AU. Thank You for reading. 

  
  


**Duo's Trouble With Tree's**

  
  


Chapter One

  
  


Once upon a time, A.C. 195 there lived a royal family in the Sank Kingdom. Five young men about the same age lived there with their adopted parents, Miliardo Peacecraft and his wife Lucrezia Noin. Now these boys were coming of age to be married. Their father, who was upholding an age-old tradition of the Peacecraft family, made each of these boys go out into the woods and cut down a tree. Whichever direction the trees fell in, the young men were to go in that direction until they came across a fair maiden. Then, they were to ask her hand in marriage. The first man to go out was, Heero. He went far out into the woods and cut down a tree. It fell pointing east. Heero shared one of his rare smiles with the forest because he knew of a beautiful and kind pacifist girl named Reelena who lived to the east. The second man to cut down a tree was Trowa. He went out into the forest and hacked down a tree. It fell pointing west. Trowa was pleased with himself because he knew of a certain circus star named Catherine who lived out to the west. The third boy to fell a tree was Quatre. After his tree pointed east, there was a shot dispute, but it was finally decided that Quatre would marry the neighbor girl, Dorothy instead of Reelena. The fourth young man to chop down a tree was Wufei. He went far, far out into the forest all by himself when he cut down his tree. He had stood there for quite a while and finally manipulated the tree so that it fell pointing north. When he went home, he grumbled and pretended to be upset, but Duo knew his long time secret love Sally Po lived to the north and stupidly threatened Wufei with it. As a result when Dou 

  
  


chopped down his tree, it fell south. There was nothing but trolls, dragons and wolves to the south. His older brothers laughed and mocked him and Duo despaired at his awful luck but when everyone set out the next day to claim their brides, he went all the same.

Four brothers came home that night with shouts of joy at their success with the beautiful women. They were all betrothed. Duo, however, did not come home that night. Or the next. Or the next! The brothers who had howled with laughter at first now became slightly worried. They suspected at that Duo was either having problems finding a wife or embarrassed to come home because of he had found one. 

Duo had been traveling in the same direction for three days straight and had run out of food and water. He had expected to find and ugly troll girl and be forced by tradition to earn her hand in marriage on the first day, but instead he had found nothing. 

"Oh, damn . . ." Duo said wearily, "I'm so hungry . . ." All of a sudden he collapsed with hunger and thirst. He just missed squashing a small rabbit. 

"Ooh!" she squeaked as she hopped out of the way. "Oh dear," she muttered to herself. 

Being rather distressed at this near death experience, she lifted her paw and murmured an incantation. A second later, she rang the miniature silver bell that had appeared on her paw. In moments hundreds of rabbits sat at her feet. She asked her people to bring food and water for her guest. You see, Hildi was the kind, princess of the rabbits so all her people were eager to obey her commands. 

A couple of hours later, Duo woke up to find a rabbit the size of his hand from his wrist to his middle fingertip, sitting on his chest. He blinked in confusion for a moment and then began crying. 

"Waaaaaaaaaaa, hic!, ahhhhhhhhhhh, hic! ahhhhhhhhhhh." Duo paused to breathe, "Waaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa"

This was upsetting Hildi greatly, not to mention killing her ears, and she quickly tried to console him. Duo immediately stopped sobbing at her comforting words and he told Hildi the story of how he skinned his knee when he collapsed. 

A few minutes later he realized why he had collapsed and began crying again. Through his wrenching tears, he told her about how he must find a fair maiden and earn her hand in marriage. Duo also told Hildi about his evil adopted brother, Wufei and how Wufei had made the tree fall south. He sat and complained about Wufei ridiculing him until he remembered once again why he was sitting in the dirt with a rabbit on his chest. When he did, he stopped talking. 

Hildi frowned and said in response to Duo's tale, "You could marry me. I'm a princess and I'm sure I'll make a wonderful wife to a person like you."She smiled then, and said, "By the way, my name's Hildi. I'm a princess."

"I'm Duo. Nice to meet you. Wait a minute . . . I couldn't marry a rabbit!" Duo began to wail again, "Wufei and Heero and Quatre and Trowa and Mommy and Daddy will laugh at me and I'll be forced to dye all their clothes pink again."

"Look Duo, if you don't marry me, you'll have to marry a troll. Just don't tell anyone I'm a rabbit." Duo and Hildi debated the subject further and finally concluded a few minutes later that Duo would marry Hildi.

The next day, Duo set out for home with plenty of food for the return trip which only took two days now that he knew the way. When he arrived, Noin and Miliardo welcomed him with open arms and asked him about his beau. Duo told his parents that she was a beautiful princess and could relate no more information than that because Heero had just found his diary under Duo's pillow. 

A week later, after Duo's bruises from Heero had healed, Miliardo decided it was time for his sons to visit their future wives again. He informed his sons that each of the brides must pass three tests so that he and their mother could be sure these brides were worthy of his sons. The first test was to bake a loaf of bread.

Quatre had every confidence in his future spouse, and the other boys were rather non-committed to talking about tests. Duo on the other hand kept his normally loud mouth shut, but he cried all night long, thinking his rabbit fiancé couldn't make a bread at all.

Two days later, at the rabbit burrow, Duo mournfully told Hildi about the test. He wailed and went on and on about how sad he was because he was really beginning to like her. 

"Duo," she finally interrupted him laughing, "I can bake a simple loaf of bread." She lifted her paw and chanted some strange words that Duo didn't understand. In the middle of her small paw, a tiny silver bell appeared. She rang it three times and suddenly, hundreds of rabbits appeared.

"Yes, my lady. What is it you require my lady?" All the rabbits chanted in unison. 

"Go and find me the finest grains of wheat and bring them to me."

"Yes, my lady. Of course." Once more in unison, and then they were gone.

An hour later, all the grain that was needed for a loaf of bread had been gathered. All of that day and into the night, Hildi worked with her people to make the loaf of bread. The early the next morning, Duo started for home with a loaf of white bread, still warm from the fire.

When Duo arrived home, he only got halfway to the dining room before he was intercepted by Noin. She was very upset that he had been trying to snack before dinner. Again. As a punishment of sorts, she asked Miliardo to commence with the presentations of the loaves. The young men displayed their loves one at a time. Miliardo carefully examined each loaf thoroughly and tested the grain and flavor. Finally, he pronounced the girls fit cooks for his sons.

"Heero," Miliardo began, "A loaf of oat says that one is true to their feelings and honest. Quatre, wheat bread symbolizes that one is faithful. Trowa, corn bread stands for good blessings and a good harvest upon you and your heirs. Wufei, rye bread stands for ingenuity and cunning." Miliardo raised an eyebrow, "It seems that you and your fiancé were made for each other. All of your brides have passed the test."

"You forgot Duo." Heero reminded Miliardo diffidently.

"Oh, of course! I can't believe I forgot the princesses loaf of bread."

"Your sarcasms not needed here, _dad,_" Duo replied hotly.

"Well Duo? Where is your fiancé's bread?"Quatre asked.

"I got it right here," he said handing Miliardo the loaf of White bread.

"Amazing!" Miliardo exclaimed, "Only the rich and powerful like me eat white bread. Duo, this means that your one and only has great riches now and the promise of more to come."

"I had no idea bread meant this much to him or I would have baked my way out of lots of trouble," Duo whispered to Trowa who had remained silent through the whole grain ordeal.

"That's probably why we all knew and you didn't." With that, Trowa turned and walked away. A week later, the five young men received instructions for the second test their fiancé's must pass. Noin wanted a sample of their weaving. Once again Quatre was happy and the rest were usually silent. Once again, Duo despaired.

When Duo sadly informed Hildi of this terrible news, she laughed once again.

"Have you no faith in me, Duo my love?" she asked him when her laughter subsided. Hildi summoned the silver bell and rang it. Hundreds of rabbits appeared at their feet. 

"Go and find the best of silk and satin strands for my love," she told them, and in a scamper of paws they were gone.

The next day, Hildi handed Duo a walnut and told him, "Inside here is a sample of my weaving. It is made of the finest silk and satin strands in the world."

When Duo arrived home, the boys had just finished showing Noin their future spouses weaving. "Heero," Noin began, "Cotton shows strength and flexibility. Quatre, calico displays a love for family. Trowa, Denim reveals that your bride realizes arduous work can be as good for one as it can be bad. Wufei," Noin also rose an eyebrow when she came to Wufei, "Lace," she went on, "shows ones appreciation for the finer things that life has to give." Noin stopped for a moment as Duo handed her the walnut.

Everyone cracked up. Even Trowa. But the laughing paused when Noin opened the walnut and gasped out loud. In her hands was the most delicately woven handkerchief any of them had ever seen. Made of satin and silk, it was white with silver woven into the lace surrounding the outside edge. Wufei became jealous at once and claimed that Hildi must have stolen it from a princess.

"Nope," Duo replied grinning, "Hildi is a princess."

Another week passed when Miliardo and Noin decided it was time for the final test. Each of the young men must bring their future brides home so their parents could see them and deem them worthy of their sons. 

This time Quatre wasn't too awfully proud of Dorothy because he knew she wasn't exactly the most beautiful woman in the world. But the rest of the guys knew they had beautiful brides and they were sure they would end up marrying their fiancé's. Now, Duo did not despair. He was positive the little rabbit would ring her silver bell and hundreds of rabbits would appear to make her human. He was sure of it. 

Two days later he reached Hildi's burrow and told her of the final test. He did not despair and he did not cry. He lifted her up and told her he had faith that if they truly loved each other, and he was sure they did, everything would be all right.

Upon hearing these words Hildi smiled brilliantly. "Thank you," she said in a no longer squeaky, small voice. "Thank you for believing in me and our love."

With that she rose into the air and began to change. Her legs and arms grew long. Her ears shrank and her fur was replaced with skin, white as snow. Her hair turned raven black and grew in a short choppy style. Hildi stood before Trowa in an elegant black dress with a full skirt and she jumped into his arms laughing. 

"Oh, Duo," she exclaimed breathlessly,"Oh ,Duo I'm free. You see, a long time ago, an evil witch named Lady Une was very jealous of my kingdom so she put me and all of my people under a curse. She said no one would ever trust a filthy rabbit and since curses can only be placed if there is a way to lift them, she told me the only way I could restore myself and my kingdom was to have someone believe in me with all their heart. Thank You Duo."

She lifted her hand and said the incantation once more. Hildi hung the silver bell around her neck and rang it. A golden coach appeared and Duo and Hildi drove to the cottage in only one day.

Back at the cottage, Miliardo and Noin had approved of everyone's love except for Duo's, who hadn't arrived yet. The four other sons got married in Duo's absence to avoid the humiliating wedding day Duo had promised them. After the newlyweds happened home for the night, Duo showed up in a horse-drawn, golden carriage. Miliardo and Noin were awed at the sight of Duo's prized bride with white skin, raven hair, and Violet eyes. They immediately approved of the marriage and Duo and Hildi lived happily ever after. 

  
  


(The End)

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(Cut here)

  
  


I'm desperate. I'll take anything I can get in the way of reviews. You can tell me to bite the dust for all I care just please review!

  
  



	2. Wufei's Touble With Zombies

Disclaimer: I'm scared it's dark and I've been left all alone. The stars aren't being nice they won't come out and play. I made a wish to own them forever but unfortunately to my dismay my hands came up blank and no wish, no lottery, no body could give me my love, my joy, MY FAVORITE TV SHOW! *sigh* . -_- Oh well I can always dream! So they're not mine but I can use there characters! Mwahahahahaha

  
  


AN: Once upon a time, if you read Chapter One, you knew what I was talking about. Now, instead of focusing on Duo and Hildi, we are going to find out how Wufei and Sally fared in their quest for love because I feel like they are ignored too much. Read on to experience the magic:) 

  
  


Chapter Two: Wufei's trouble with Zombies

  
  


I'm the luckiest man on Earth, Chang Wufei thought to himself as he casually strolled down a long dirt road. He was on his way home from proposing to Sally Po. He had pretended to be a simple farm-boy when he asked so she wouldn't say yes to his money instead of him. He wasn't sure it would work, but it did. She had said yes. Wufei started feeling giddy again and thought he might as well smile now and get it out of his system rather than being embarrassed by Duo later.

~*~*~*~*~

  
  


"Guess What?" Sally's mother sang out as she entered the room. "Duke Dermail wants to marry Sally! Soon our beautiful daughter will be a duchess. How fine is that?" 

"Oh, ho!" said Sally's father, "Duke Dermail shall have her hand, yes, but he will pay me a large purse full of gold first!" 

Through all this talk, Sally remained unusually quiet. Just that day, Sally had said yes to a proposal from a farm-boy and she had yet to tell her parents. Secretly, she loved a prince named Wufei from the Sank Kingdom, though she would never admit it. How on earth, she would think to herself, could a dirty, tomboy peasant like me win a prince like Wufei? That was why she had said yes to the farm-boy. At least he would love her till his dying day. She felt so angry whenever she thought about the ugly, old Duke that owned their land. He used his power to get people to do things his way. Sally had known for some time that the Duke wanted to wed her. She also knew if she refused his offer, her family and friends would suffer but if she was already to be married, he couldn't really do anything. He was just to slow. Sally decided to speak up now before it was to late.

"Mother," she said firmly, "I refuse to marry Duke Dermail. Just today I accepted a proposal from a farm-boy. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you, but I want you to know that my decision is final."

Then again maybe it hadn't been a good idea to speak up. Her mother began wailing and scolding no one in particular. She was pretty much just screaming her head off. Sally's father began cursing and yelling. They both knew once Sally made up her mind about something, there was no changing it.

"Quit complaining." Sally said defiantly, "Even if I wasn't already promised to someone I wouldn't marry him. He's a power corrupted, out-of-date vulture."

"Oh, but Sally." her mother cried, "He demanded that you marry him. What will Duke Dermail say when we tell him that-"

"Tell me what?" Interrupted a voice that's attention commanding ability had not faded with age."That I'm promised to marry someone else. He loves me, you see, and I couldn't turn him down." Sally said softly, looking at her hands with a glint of happiness in her eyes at the thought of him.

"I'm terribly sorry. I only wish that I had been a day quicker."

"Indeed. Good day, Duke Dermail." With that Sally firmly shut the door in his face. Bah! Duke Dermail thought to himself maliciously, I will soon remove that scum from my path.

~*~*~*~*~

Five days after Wufei arrived home, the terror came back to his life. Duo was back. He had successfully avoided Duo for a week when Miliardo decided it was time for his sons to visit their future wives again so they could take the first test. The baking of a loaf of bread. 

Quatre was being annoying that night by babbling to everyone about his wonderful fiancé. Wufei had to go to his secret meditating room to get away from him. Later that night while in his secret meditating room and he thought he heard crying. He assumed it was the wind and went to bed.

The next day, he went to his love and introduced himself to her parents as Prince Wufei of the Sank Kingdom. Her parents were surprised that he was really a prince but after he explained his reasons for deceiving her, they understood. Anywho, he waited patiently for her to arrive home in the Living Room. Her parents went out so he could talk to her with no one to disturb them and so, Wufei sat. All alone. By himself. He was rarely ever alone. He always had Duo looking to torture him or servants trying to do things for him that he would rather do himself. Now that he thought about it, the only time he was ever alone was when he was meditating.

His train of thought was abruptly cut off when she entered the hut. He looked up, fortifying himself for the inevitable battle coming. He had just opened his mouth to speak and beg her forgiveness when she started talking so fast Wufei could barely understand her.

"I know who you are. I've known since before the day I first met you and I want you to know that I've loved you my whole life. I used to sneak out to the castle and watch you meditate in the courtyard. When everyone found out that was where you had started meditating, you moved to another spot and I couldn't watch you anymore. At first I was sad and then I discovered that you were soon to look for a wife. I wanted to marry you not only because I loved you but also because I didn't want to marry the evil Duke Dermail." Sally paused for a breath while Wufei sat in awe that anyone could possibly talk so fast. "You see, he owns the farming land that we rent and he wanted to marry me but I don't love that awful old vulture. Instead, I thought I would ask you for your hand even though that type of thing isn't done and isn't appropriate. When I met you outside the village and you got down on your knees and told me that you had worshiped me from afar and loved me, I was simply astounded," Sally almost sighed but she stopped herself just in time, "Anyway, after I said yes and told you that I was living with my parents, I thought you would immediately come and tell them of our engagement but when you didn't-" Another breath was taken, "I thought you weren't coming back at all, so I went to look for you while I was out I overheard Duke Dermail plotting to kill you! Oh, Wufei . . . What will we do now?"

Wufei sat dumbstruck for a moment that all this had been said in a matter of less than 30 seconds and started slowly with the speech he had rehearsed so many times.

"I'm sorry I deceived you Sally, but I have important reasons as to why I-"

"I've already forgiven you for that because I knew all along who you were and what you were doing. That wasn't my question. What are you going to do to stop Duke Dermail from killing you because there is no way you are getting out of this marriage now."

Wufei's eyes glittered dangerously as he smiled slowly and leaned back in the wooden chair he had been sitting in. "I'll think of something."

~*~*~*~*~ 

On the way home that evening with a fresh loaf of bread, Wufei ran into Duke Dermail. The Duke had been waiting for Wufei in a dark alley, thinking to kill him with his sword. Suddenly, he jumped out with a shout. Jumping back, Wufei pulled out his katana to defend himself and fought to the death with the Duke. In the end, Wufei stood victor over the aging man. He had never murdered a man before. He had fought and wounded them, but never actually murdered someone. He ran the rest of the way home.

Upon arriving back at home, Wufei presented his future wife's loaf of bread along with the others. Miliardo carefully examined each loaf thoroughly and tested the grain and flavor. Finally, he pronounced the girls fit cooks for his sons.

"Heero," Miliardo began, "A loaf of oat says that one is true to their feelings and honest. Quatre, wheat bread symbolizes that one is faithful. Trowa, corn bread stands for good blessings and a good harvest upon you and your heirs. Wufei, rye bread stands for ingenuity and cunning." Miliardo raised an eyebrow, "It seems that you and your fiancé were made for each other." Turning slightly pink, Wufei glanced over his shoulder before resuming his expression of indifference. "All of your brides have passed the first test."

"You forgot Duo." Heero reminded Miliardo diffidently.

"Oh, of course! I can't believe I forgot the princesses loaf of bread."

Wufei snickered softly at Duo's discomfort. 

"Your sarcasm's not needed here, dad," Duo replied hotly.

"Well Duo? Where is your fiancé's bread?"Quatre asked.

"I got it right here," he said handing Miliardo the loaf of White bread with a flourish.

"Amazing!" Miliardo exclaimed, "Only the rich and powerful, like me, eat white bread. Duo, this means that your one and only has great riches now and the promise of more to come."

After tossing a couple of g'night's to no one particular, Wufei tramped up the stairs for his nightly meditation. 

About a week later, the five young men received another reason to visit their beloved's homes. The second test their fiancé's. Noin wanted a sample of their weaving so she could be sure the women would be perfect for her boys. 

Slowly, Wufei set out the next day to Sally's. Normally he would be running, but seeing as how he had killed a man last time he was in town he was slightly nervous about his welcome. Quite to his amazement, nobody in town seemed in the least distraught about the missing Duke. In fact, the whole town seemed happier! 

Oh Well! Wufei thought to himself. No skin off my nose! He went to Sally's home and told her about the second test. 

"Woman! I require a sample of your weaving to appease my mother."

With a smile Sally responded, "And she will have one. Won't you join us for dinner?"

The day passed without incident and Wufei went home with a lace sample. 

Just when the boys had finished showing Noin their future spouses weaving, Duo got back. "Heero," Noin began, "Cotton shows strength and flexibility. Quatre, calico displays a love for family. Trowa, Denim reveals that your bride realizes arduous work can be as good for one as it can be bad. Wufei," Noin also rose an eyebrow when she came to Wufei, "Lace," she went on, "shows ones appreciation for the finer things that life has to give." Noin stopped for a moment and raised an eyebrow as Duo handed her a walnut.

That did it. Wufei cracked, Heero cracked, even Trowa, the unemotional type, started laughing. Wiping a tear of sheer mirth from her eye, Noin took the walnut. Upon opening it, she gasped. In her hands was a beautiful handkerchief. 

"Hmpf! 'Hilde' must have stolen it from a princess," Wufei said when he saw the delicate peice.

"Nah," Duo replied grinning, "Hilde is a princess."

"Hmpf." 

After about another week of quarreling and unrest, Miliardo who was finally fed up shouted at the top of his lungs that they were to bring their brides home for the final test and to be married. He yelled so loud everyone in the entire castle jumped at the sound and the boys scrambled off A.S.A.P. at top speed. 

~*~*~*~*~

Just that day while walking in the market a small child thrust a dirty scrap of paper into her hand and shot off, out of site. 

The note said, 

Dearest Sally,

My parents have accepted you and we shall be married in a few days. Wait far me tonight at midnight. I will be on a black stallion wearing a long grey cloak. Bring with you nothing. Not even food.

Wufei

Slightly confused and wondering why Wufei would tell her like this she sat by her window that night. She heard the clock strike midnight and drew herself upright. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Then, she heard something else. She glanced down and did a double take. Right outside her window, larger than life, was a figure in a grey cloak on a black stallion. Her sense of foreboding grew with every step she took. 

Standing beside the horse she looked up and whispered, "Wufei, are you up there?" No answer. "Wufei!" Still no answer. "Wufei answer me or I'm going back inside . . . Wufei?"

A long thin hand emerged from the depths of the heavy grey cloak and seized her by her hair. To frightened to scream or run or do anything, she stared up into the darkness where his face was hidden in shadows. Slowly he moved his head into the light. It was the rotting body of Duke Dermail.

Sally screamed and pulled at the terrible site but the dark corpse held her fast. He urged the horse to a gallop with Sally trailing behind him, desperately trying to free her hair from his grasp. 

"Mwahahahahaha," A terrible disembodied voice rose up from the depths of hell themselves. "In hell I have burned, in hell I have waited. In life you escaped me, in death you are mine!" 

"Oh my God! Help, Wufei, help me please! Oh Wufei hear me wherever you are! HELP ME!" Sally screamed until she was hoarse.

Far away, Wufei heard her plea's and swung on a horse to gallop away after her. 

"Sally! Sally Po I'm coming! Have faith, I will be there soon."

Go faster, go faster, go faster! Wufei silently urged his mount. Two riders, one living and one dead on two horses, one black and one white, galloping through the night towards the ends of the earth. There, in the distance was the glow of the great fire from beyond and rising dark and huge against the of the fires of hell were the iron gates of the City of the Dead.

Go faster, go faster, go faster! The moon shone out clear from behind a black cloud. Wufei, lashing his horse, was growing nearer and nearer and even nearer to the figure of the dead rider. Yet the menacing iron gates of the City of the Dead also grew nearer and those gates were slowly opening. 

Wufei was on top of the corpse now and he leaned from the saddle. He cut off the hand that held Sally captive, and snatched his beloved away just as the iron gates of the City of the Dead swung open and the body of Duke Dermail galloped through, screaming in rage and pure hatred as the gates closed and shut him in forever, less one hand.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Back at the castle, Miliardo and Noin had approved of everyone's love except for Duo's, who hadn't arrived yet. The four other sons got married in Duo's absence and avoided humiliating Duo speeches that everyone knew would happen. After the newlyweds happened home for the night, Duo showed up but Wufei was far too infatuated with his brave bride to notice.

  
  


(The End)

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(Cut here)

  
  


I'm desperate. I'll take anything I can get in the way of reviews. You can tell me to bite the dust for all I care just please review!

  
  



	3. Heero's Trouble With Religon

Disclaimer: They're not mine?!?! What do you mean they're not mine? NOOOOOOOooooo.........!

  
  


AN: Today, we embark on the tale of Relena the Prophet vs. Heero the suitor. Eeeheeheehee.

  
  


Chapter Three: Heero's trouble with Religion

  
  


19 years ago

A baby! Oh, how very happy Jochebed and Amram were to see they're new daughter Relena. They would have loved her and cared for her and always watched over her if they could have. If they could have. The cruel king of their people had ordered that in order to keep the population down, every child not of noble birth, would be drowned for the next three years. 

Jochebed looked down on her lovely daughter and said, "She will not die. She must not die. I will give her away, so that she will be safe."

Through their tears, Jochebed and Amram made a small boat and sent Relena down the river, praying all the while, that she would be safe. 

~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Present Day 

Heero found Miliardo's 'age-old-traditions' stupid. He had no idea why anyone in their right minds would base their entire future on the direction in which a tree fell. The poor guy was so busy talking to himself that he didn't realize he had made it to his destination. He was in Egypt. As his quest required he went to the palace to request an audience with the Princess Relena. 

Unfortunately, the poor misinformed prince was then laughed out of town. Apparently, to his disappointment, he learned that Relena had left Egypt and now lived somewhere in the desert. Heero sighed heavily and started the hot, dry, journey into the desert.

He really didn't walk that long, but felt like ages. Eventually, in the distance, he saw a small house and determined that it must be Relena's home. He practically collapsed on the porch in relief, he was so happy to be in the shade and not in the bright, hot sun. 

"Is anyone here?" he called out when he reached the porch of the little hut. 

"Just a minute," came the reply in a singsong voice. His heart raced in anticipation. He would finally meet her face to face. The woman he would marry was about to come out that door. The hinge creaked as the door was pushed open and out stepped a woman. A woman that was definitely not Relena.

"Hello. May I help you?"

"I . . . uh . . . well . . . you, see . . . May I speak to Relena?"

"Oh. Well. Relena lives in that hut over there. You see it? It's the one with the chickens in front. Yeah. Don't worry lots of people make the same mistake."

Her reply fell on deaf ears seeing as how he raced for the next hut. Sighing dejectedly, Dorothy retreated back inside.

"Relena! Relena, come outside!"

"I'm in the back come around."

As Heero rounded the corner, he saw her staring up at the hill peculiarly. "What is it, Relena?"

"There seems to be a fire on the hill. I'd better go put it out." she picked up a jug of water that just happened to be at her feet and went up the hill side.

Carefully, Relena climbed the hill and found the fire. She hefted up the water and was about to pour it when a voice from out of nowhere said, "Relena. Take off your shoes and put down your water for this is holy ground."

Relena quickly obeyed the command.

"You have been chosen to lead my people from Egypt and to take them to the land flowing with milk and honey. Now take your staff and go. Save my people from tyranny."

"Yes, my lord." With that Relena ran down the hill.

"Relena, are you okay?" Heero asked her when she reached the bottom.

"Oh, I'm fine. Now what did you need?"

Heero got down on one knee and held open a box. "Relena, will you marry me?"

Relena was so distracted with what she had been told to do, she responded, "Yes, of course. Now come on, I'll walk you part of the way home. I have some business in Egypt, you see."

So, Relena walked with Heero part of the way to his home and he walked the rest of the way by himself after being politely dismissed his fiancé, saying that some things were best done by oneself.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

Technically, one brother actually came home with shouts of joy. The other three, well, they had an expression that showed they were thinking about their promised ones. Wufei was off in his own little world. Trowa, well, no one really knew where Trowa was, and Heero was walking around expressionless as usual. In fact, it was quite peaceful in the Sank Kingdom mansion without Duo. 

The quite day without Duo turned to night, then to morning and then to night again. It had been two days and there was still no sign of Duo. If Heero was worried, he didn't show it. However, the day Heero arrived home, he found his diary under Duo's bed. Heero waited three days of for Duo to arrive home. When he did, Lets just say Heero had found that he was tired of waiting.

By the time Duo had sufficiently healed from his welcome home attack, a week had passed and Miliardo decided it was time for his sons to visit their future wives again. To make a long story short, he gave his sons instructions and sent them on their way.

This time, Quatre and Heero walked across the desert together. Quatre went up to the first house and Heero continued on to the second one. It was deserted. Heero stood in the cabin in silence as a feeling of dread crept up his spine. Then he turned and ran.

By the time Heero arrived in Egypt, the place was buzzing. People were leaving the city from everywhere. All the Israelites were escaping from the cruel and evil pharaoh. And Relena was leading the pack. She stood in front of all the people and led them away from Egypt with her ever present speaker, Sylvia Noventa.

"Relena, what the hell is going on?" Heero shouted.

"I'm saving my people. We must hurry, before the Pharaoh changes his mind and demands we come back."

"Relena-"

"Not now Heero," She interrupted exasperated, "I'm busy.'

"Look Relena, I just need a loaf of bread and I'll leave you alone" He told her as they trekked along, coming nearer to the Red Sea. Wait a minute. The Red Sea? Relena was leading all the Israelites right into the Red Sea!

"Relena, are you off your rocker? Your leading thousands of people into the SEA!!!"

"Just trust me, Heero. I know what I'm doing."

With that, she lifted her arms and the began to part! A huge wind came up and the waves rose and fell until there was a growing dry path crossing the Red Sea. Sylvia rushed to Relena, placing her hands under her arms. For at least an hour they stood with Relena's graceful hands stretched upward toward the heavens. Then Relena collapsed onto Sylvia. "Tell the people to cross before the waves fall back."

As the people started crossing Relena turned to Heero and asked him, "Now what did you need, darling?"

"Well," he responded carefully, " I need a loaf of bread."

"Bread. You came all the way out here for a loaf of bread." *sigh* "Look Heero, see that woman down there? The one with the bag on her back. Go ask her for bread."

Heero smiled. "Thank you Relena." As he started down the hill he realized that every woman walking had a pack on her back. He spun around looking for Relena, but she was already gone. Damn.

After walking for at least an hour, Heero came across a legion of Egyptian soldiers. Two of them rode up to him in their carriage and stopped in front of him, effectively blocking his path.

"You, there. Have you seen the entire of the Pharos slaves walking around here somewhere?"

Heero warily eyed the two soldiers before him. He held a certain respect for soldiers, yet he had bigger fish to fry and wouldn't let these men and their army get in his way. Then he smirked. Maybe these men would trade him information for a loaf of bread. Maybe they would get rid of all those people following Relena so he could have her to himself. Maybe he could kill two birds with one stone . . . in one throw too!

"Maybe," he replied. "How much is it worth to you?"

The men grinned at each other. The one who had spoken in the first place said, "A barrel of the Pharos finest wine."

"Not good enough." 

Eyes narrowing, the second man offered, "A fully trained war horse."

"Nope."

The men frowned. "What will it cost us," the first man asked.

"A loaf of bread"

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


When Duo arrived home, Noin suggested they commence with the "loaf examination". Miliardo lifted the loaves one by one and finally pronounced the girls fit for his sons.

"Ahem. Heero," Miliardo started, "A loaf of oat says that one is true to their feelings and honest."

"So they gave me an oat loaf," Heero said thoughtfully.

"They who?" Noin asked advancing on Heero like a cat on a mouse. 

He face-faulted. "Relena of course . . . heehee. . . hee . . . hee . . ."

Meanwhile Miliardo had finished with the bread judging and wanted to go eat dinner.

"You forgot Duo." Heero reminded Miliardo diffidently.

"Oh, of course! I can't believe I forgot the princesses loaf of bread."

"Your sarcasms not needed here, dad," Duo replied hotly.

"Well Duo? Where is your fiancé's bread?"Quatre asked.

Heero went into the dining room, tuning them out. He ate without tasting the food in his mouth, thinking of Relena. And all the weird people following her around. He was going to write about it in his diary but he didn't want Duo to find it again. Besides, it was missing again. Wait a minute, his diary was missing again?

"DUO!"

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


A week later they were kicked out of the house by a distraught Noin. In their battles, Wufei and Duo had destroyed her priceless vase handed down to her through the generations. Oops.

The boys mission? Get a sample of cloth made by their brides. All Heero could think was how the hell am I gonna find her now?

When he reached the Red Sea where he had last seen Relena, he stopped. Something was wrong. The army he had run into on his way home before lay dead, washed up on the shore of the Sea. Moving on, he found an old paddle boat with a broken oar. Shrugging his shoulders, he picked up the oar, pushed the boat into the water, jumped in, and sank. Walking from the cold water to the shore, Heero looked across the Sea. He was at a narrow part and he could almost see the other side. Glancing to the sun to judge the time, Heero splashed back into the water and swam.

By the time he reached the other side, Heero was freezing. He set out at a brisk pace to get his blood flowing. It was after noon by the time he caught up with Relena and her trailing thousands. He sighed to himself. I guess the soldiers weren't successful in getting rid of the Israelites. 

"Relena," he said, falling into step beside her. "I need some cloth."

Relena looked at him like his cheese had slid off his cracker.

"Why?" she asked.

"It's for mother."

"Your mother is rich. Tell me again why she needs cloth from me."

"It's for the test."

"What test? Look Heero, I don't have time for this people are approaching."

Relena and Sylvia walked out towards them and held out their hands. "We are a peaceful people wishing only to pass through this desert." Sylvia called, "Leave us in peace and we will travel through without difficulty."

The leader of the strange group also came forwards. "We are the Amalekites," He shouted forcefully, "This is our desert and the oases in the distance also belongs to us. Be gone from this place by sunrise or we will attack!" He shouted these last words and the huge regiment behind him yelled in response to his encouraging shout. With that, only a hundred yards away, they settled down to watch as the Israelites left.

Relena was lost. She had no way of getting thousands of people out of this region by sunup. She turned to Heero and buried her face in his chest.

"What will I do now Heero?" she moaned.

Once again opportunity was knocking on his door . . . or it went something like that. 

"Relena, I can help you get the people off this region by nightfall."

That evening, when all the Israelites were safe from harm, Relena held up her end of the bargain and cut Heero a piece of her home made shirt.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Four young men had just completed the Noin exam when Duo got home. In fact, Noin had been about to tell them about each cloth and what it meant when Duo walked in the door.

"Heero," Noin said handing him the sample, "Cotton shows strength and flexibility. Quatre, calico displays a love for family. Trowa, Denim reveals that your bride realizes arduous work can be as good for one as it can be bad. Wufei," Noin also rose an eyebrow when she came to Wufei, "Lace," she went on, "shows ones appreciation for the finer things that life has to give." Noin stopped for a moment as Duo handed her the walnut.

Everyone cracked up. Even Trowa. But the laughing paused when Noin opened the walnut and gasped. She held the most delicately woven handkerchief any of them had ever seen. Wufei became jealous immediately and claimed that Hildi must have stolen it from a princess.

"Nope," Duo replied grinning, "Hildi is a princess."

Heero chortled and moved on. It didn't matter to him if Duo's bride was a princess. He was the oldest and an heir to the Sank Kingdom throne. Either way his wife would be a princess too.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


It was soon time for Heero to bring Relena to meet his parents. The final test, was the measure of her beauty. Inside and out. Now that he knew the path, and he had swam across the Red Sea twice, Heero had no problem finding the Amalakites territory. He walked beyond that and came to a mountainous area. Something had destroyed the ground and there was a giant golden calf lying deep in one of the huge crevices. Edging around these huge holes in the ground, Heero continued on his way and found Relena and her people. 

As they stood on a mountain top overlooking the promised land, they watched the Israelites set up their homes and settle down. Permanently. Relena sighed and turned to Heero.

"I have no place to go. I was told not to go to the promised land. I'm not allowed. I don't know what I'm going to do."

Heero gazed into her eyes. "Do you really believe that you have no lace to go, Relena? Do you really think that I wouldn't marry you, after all this time?"

"I . . . You . . . Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Relena, I already asked you. You're wearing the ring on your finger now."

Relena's eyes widened as she looked down and saw the beautiful ring blinking on her finger.

"Oh, Heero. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Of course I'll marry you!"

Heero blinked. She had already said yes. Shaking his head in confusion, he decided it was just something women did. Sweeping her off her feet, Heero carried her to the Red Sea and made a raft to pull her on as he swam the sea for the fourth (and last) time. 

While Heero swam, Relena hesitantly asked him, "Heero, wouldn't your parents require me to pass certain tests in order to be your bride?"

Heero peeked over his shoulder to look at her for a moment. "That's why I wanted the bread and the cloth. But don't worry about it now. It's been taken care of."

"They must think I'm an awful urchin sending you no bread at all and just a scrap of a cotton shirt."

"Not at all. They approve heartily."

"What's the last test. There are usually three."

"You'll see"

  
  


~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Upon arriving back at the Sank Kingdom Relena was sent to meet Miliardo and Noin. The four couples found that preparation for their weddings was completed very quickly. All they had to do was to pick out a dress. It was not until later that the girls found their husbands had wanted to a rush through their weddings to avoid a very strange brother from ruining a good time. Poor Duo. 

Later, on the way to their honeymoon, Relena remembered the conversation they had while crossing the sea.

"What was the third test?" Relena asked.

"Beauty. You passed."

  
  
  
  


Fin

  
  


A/N: That ending sucked. I haven't written a chapter in so long I've forgotten how. Hey, I have an idea! Who wants to be my beta reader? Anyone? Save me from myself and be my beta reader! I'm desperate. I'll take anything I can get. Please with pink and green sugar! Please with a cherry on top? For the love of God (literally) PLEASE!!!


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